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Ooh, ooh, these Kommenter submissions are fun. During my lunch hour I'll try my hand at an O'sullivan:Hark! The drolos of the offt-season are remedied negligibly through Organized Squadron Activations. Verily the ball stewards and receivingmen are...

Ooh, ooh, these Kommenter submissions are fun. During my lunch hour I'll try my hand at an O'sullivan:Hark! The drolos of the offt-season are remedied negligibly through Organized Squadron Activations. Verily the ball stewards and receivingmen are loathe to wear the encumbrances of padding and helmature. Under circumstances such as these what use are my haymakers? The pulverizers lack zeal. One is suitably inclined to cogitate upon past accomplishments and future vainglory.Now, it has come to my observance that many of you footballing fanatics pass your humid months intoxicated on false expectations of your own metropolis's success, intoxicated on false sports such as Based Ball, and intoxicated on intoxicants. Some can't, nay, shan't wait until the Autumnal Equinox and debase themselves by ruminating upon the forthcoming fantastical footballing anum. It would appear actual footballing does not satiate the howling masses as it once did. Every Tom, Michael and O'shaughnessy fancies themselves a General Ministrator and seeks to wield their favorite footballers in virtual battle against one's non-fictional colleagues and laborers. Victory is assured by a complicated system of quantification and statistical alchemy whereby one of my pulverizers, naturally securing 6 points for the Bengali Tygers of Cincinnatus, is transmuted thusly into 4 points for the dubiously christened: Pussytubers Local 6969. And lo should I remand the opposition with a counterception! That action would negate them a point or a deuce.I find this rise in virtual squadron husbandry vexing. Despite myself I pour over pamphlets and cogitate upon the rankings of various leaguemates, from Good Sir Palmer and the rest of the Quartered Backs to Cedrick of Benson, an afroman replete in determination, who totes the pigskin upon the ground akin to other Rushing Backs. The danger of this misadventure lay, of course, in cheering on one's own rival footballers! To say nothing of succumbing to the blandishments of Gambling. Prithee do not be swayed into such fantastical intercourse. Avoid these counterfeit machinations as steadfastly as King Philip the Laser-Faced abstained from premarital fornication.Presently I must go. JaMarcus has lodged himself once more within the vestibule of the mess hall.

Posted by Yoshinari (guest) on Mon, 30 Sep 2013 13:42:50 +0000